April 18, 2003

Thank You

Aaaahh...corporate America...so damn classy...especially the airline industry. Unions agree to make concessions to save the company from bankruptcy...American conceals information about retention bonuses and other high-priced executive compensation plans.
Given the controversy surrounding other companies' handling of their [executive compensation plans]...and the fact that the company did not fully brief you...I can certainly appreciate the concern of your membership and your own strong feelings about our handling of the situation – especially at a time when you and your membership have done so much to help save this company from bankruptcy," said [CEO Donald] Carty's letter to [Union President James] Little. But he did not offer to make any changes in the plans.

"I agree that you and your members are owed an answer on the [compensation plans], and once the program is fully explained and examined, I think you will find it conservative and responsible," said Carty's letter.


No Longer Religious

It is a fact as of this moment. According to events that have unfolded in this article, I am no longer Catholic. Apparently even though I was raised Catholic and have watched the Catholic Church stand by and protect child molestors while attempting to pay off abuse victims to keep their secrets, I cannot be Catholic and pro-choice. I guess that's fine because I was never really into the whole sexist or homophobe thing anyways...or into being told what to do by corrupt politicians.

But then again...according to at least this one 2000 Gallup poll (scroll to the bottom), 50% of us are out.

However, I'm just so confused...I was against the war in Iraq...so does that get me back in?

But I'm also probably for really limited use of the death penalty...do I have one foot in and one foot out? I mean I change my mind about that one all the time...and let's not even get into the point that I've been living in sin for the past two years.

So...

Do they love us or do they hate us? I am reminded of Mike Tyson's infamous outburst at a news conference when he grabbed his crotch with his meaty hand and yelled at a reporter..."I'll fuck you til' you love me." Ahhh...perhaps the new motto of the Bush administration?

April 16, 2003

It's Just Another Slipup

Bill O'Reilly...are we surprised? I mean we already know what he thinks of Mexicans.

I report...you decide.

April 15, 2003

Just Got Paid...But It's Not Friday Night

We don't have to take our...clothes off...to have a good time...no...no...

I just got home from work. Forgive me if I am a bit loopy.

I always feel like...somebody's watching meeeeeeeeee...and I ain't got no privacy....oh....oh-o...

Gross. I hate my job. Tonight, on the client's tab, I had a "Classic Organic Beef Burger" from Better Burger. Why is it better? How the fuck should I know? I've been working 13 hour days for like a week and a half. Fuck you.

Ahem...sorry. I guess it is a Better Burger because it's organic. Okay. Fine. I'm down with that. What I'm not down with are what they think passes as "Better Fries". Here's their description of it:
Our guilt free side, air-baked not fried.

Fuck you Better Burger. Maybe you and your SanFran-belongin' restaurant (but you really reside in the cultural wasteland known as (Bill) Murray Hill) have guilt over eating tasty salty greasy freedom fries but me and the rest of Belgium disagree in the strongest possible way. I like licking the salty oil off all my fingers. After eating "better fries" I was ready to lick anybody's fingers...hell maybe some obese fella was sweating somethin' tasty...anything would taste better than the "guilt-free" fries I mashed between my molars. I felt like I was doing somebody a favor by eating "better fries". Maybe I was becoming a "better" person because I paid (hmmm...no the client paid...okay..I guess it's not so bad) $2.50 for tasteless mushy crap. Fuck your convoluted pretentious subjectively faulty "better" Better Burger.

Plus, your burgers were pretty fucking tiny...even if they were organic.

And don't even get me started on Josie's and their "conscious cuisine".

Ahhh...breaking out the ol' whippin' stick on the organic food...even though I buy it and eat it...and enjoy it. Dejunked junk food brings out the worst in me. I once killed three children with my teeth and a set of toe clippers after unknowingly being slipped a couple of Baked Lays.

I Am So Tired I Can't Think Straight

...or blog apparently. I have been working since...well...I guess Friday. I was at work on Saturday and Sunday and Monday...all about at 14 hour days or so. It's going to be like this until at least Thursday...these are the requirements of, as Dre and Snoop would say, the "label that pays me" although I am only "one loc'ed out G goin' crazy."

I hope to get some web action soon. Field Mouse's parents are in town and I had to downgrade our big dinner with them from the Blue Water Grill to Funky Broome. Oh well...probably saved us at least $60.

We are trying to locate a moving company for our imminent move to the cooler borough known as Brooklyn. Any thoughts or recommendations from our New Yorkers here?