January 17, 2003

It Was Fun While It Lasted...Now It Sucks.

I'm taking in a bit of the Yao Ming-Shaquille O'Neal showdown on ESPN right now.

The beginning was unbelievable. Yao gets three blocks...on Shaq. Crazy. Then Yao jams a finger and really hasn't been the same since. The game began at such a quick pace that I don't think they could keep it up. Now it's back to the regular old boring NBA action.

I love this game!!! [cough]

On another sports note, I don't think I have ever seen a collapse before like the 2002-2003 Bruins. Wow. All you need to do is look at tonight's game against Atlanta.

Joe Thornton comes back and proceeds to get kicked out of the game in the 1st period for being the third man in. Great. Then in the second period, the Bs get penalized for too many men on the ice three times. THREE TIMES. Unbelievable. Oh, while we're at it, why don't we throw in a delay of game bench penalty in the second as well.

When are the calls going to come for Ftorek's head? Let us not forget that as a number one seed last year they were eliminated in the first round.

This blows.

I'm Included!!!

Sweet, I got my first ever Nigerian money scam letter:
From: Mrs. Kate Dalu
Private Email: katedalu2003@mail.com,katedalu2003@zwallet.com


Please I am sending this letter to you through this
medium, with heartfelt hope that you will sincerely
respond passionately to my urgent cry for
your assistance.

I am Mrs Monica Dalu, wife of late chief Tanko Dalu, a
renowned businessman and a devoted Christian, who was
killed along with my two sons by the rebels in his
diamond farm.

Since the death of my husband and my two sons, I have
been highly disturbed mentally, psychologically and
physically. In fact the death of my husband and my
sons affected me greatly, the worst of it all is that
barely one month after the burial, my husband’s family
members have been disturbing and compounding my
present sober mood, demanding that I should declare
all my husband assets and surrender all his bank
accounts to them.

Being a young widow with a little daughter, I have
considered it right to secure my future and that of my
only survining child with my husband’s assets as it
is done else where in the world.

This is why I have decided to contact you, for you to
assist me receive the sum of US$15.5M which my husband
secretly deposited in a Private Trust firm for
safe-keeping two months before his untimely death.

Already, I have declared all my late husband's local
accounts to them, for me to have peace of mind and
start a new life all over again, but they still
persist that I have not surrendered everything to them

I am contacting you through this medium specifically
for you to act as my late husband’s Foreign Associate
who can go to the Trust Firm retrieve the consignment
of the funds with all documents of deposit which I
will give to you.

Though this message would have been sent to you via
surface mail, but for the Worldwide scare of Anthrax
and delays. Hence, I decided to contact you via your
email address. I want you to act fast because I want
to join you as soon as you have secured the money, to
ease this mental and psychological depression which I
am experiencing since the death of my husband and my
two sons.

I equally want you to asist my daughter and myself in
acquiring a residence permit in your country, this way
we will be guaranteed a secured future. On receipt of
your response, I will send you all the documents of
the deposited funds to go to the Trust Firm and
secured the money with my authorization.

Please contact me immediately on the only on my
private email address: katedalu2003@mail.com,katedalu2003@zwallet.com
because of
the confidentiality required to enable me give you
further clarifications. Please do not give this
information to my late husband's relations.

I remain,
Mrs Kate Dalu

Rad. Mo' money...mo' money...I can't wait to help her out...and receive all this money...it sounds foolproof!! I just get a bit confused...does the fact that she is "highly disturbed mentally" explain how her name changes from "Mrs. Monica Dalu" in the second paragraph to "Mrs. Kate Dalu" in the signatory? Or is she "Mrs. Monica Kate Dalu"? That's it. I'm giving this information to Mrs. Dalu's late husband's relations.

January 16, 2003

Sometimes you have it...

Sorry the frequency of posts have been down. Haven't found much to talk about or link to recently. There was a bit of a hilarious article in the Times today about how MTV is having (or had...I can't remember) punk week on TRL...and boy were those bands punk. It's even funnier because a huge Starbucks ad is plastered on the page of the story. Well these bands, they were wild and out of control...and that was even before they got to talk to La La. (I hate her name. I hate her name. I hate her name.) The Donnas....yecch. I've never liked them. I also am officially lodging a complaint about names of bands like The _______s. It's time to stop that shit now. STOP.

Here are the punk bands named in this article.

The Donnas
The Used
Good Charlotte
Avril Lavigne
New Found Glory
Simple Plan

All rebelling against good sense and judgment.

January 15, 2003

It Never Stops Coming

I'm sorry but I haven't read some twisted piece of shit logic like in this piece in a while.

January 14, 2003

Take $600-Somethin' Off Of My Rent, Please...

Here's an interesting editorial/article in the New York Times today about how the apartment rental market in San Francisco has fallen back to earth after the dot.com era. Boy I hope this trend makes it across the country to NYC.

Rock On!!!

Here's a great article from the NME. It really cracked me up. [that was a pun that also foreshadows...nice]

Who Dunnit?

This Lower East Side murder mystery (for the uninformed...25 year old recently moved kid from a wealthy background visiting friend on the LES (Orchard between Grand and Broome) gets shot once in the chest at 4am this past weekend) keeps getting more interesting. Check out the NY Times story here...the New York Post story here...and the New York Daily News here.

So what the hell happened that night? Were they mugged? I have heard of at least maybe one person who's gotten mugged around the neighborhood. It just seems so convenient these days to have the "two black guys" mug you. Sure, it definitely happens...but I grew up in the Boston during the Charles Stuart mess...soooo...we'll have to see about that. If they were mugged, why did the guy lose his shit (and thus his life) over twelve dollars? Were there no muggers and these two guys just got in a fight that went bad?

Interesting...especially if you live in the hood like myself.


Here's the latest...a new witness, a lawyer (?!?), comes forward and says that she saw as many as five people there. I love 4am weekend accounts on the LES. Always accurate. However, apparently the gunshot tests have not been done. The mugger theory still raises the question...why would anyone attempt to fight a guy with a gun over $12? And check out what the vic's father said:
[The father] explained that Bloede and his son were casual friends and the family heard that Bloede had a gun on him during the night out. "That made him, in our minds, a much more viable suspect," the father said.

Hmmm...check out the Times article here, the Post article here, and the NY Daily News article here.

January 13, 2003

Five Reasons Why I'm A Badass.

1) Today I bought the 2003 Extraordinary Chickens Wall Calendar. Can't fuck with that. No way. It was between that and the 2003 Just Rottweilers Wall Calendar. Why did the chickens win? I figured...who buys a wall calendar of chickens? Then I realized...you do. Without you, nobody would purchase this. Your niche has been filled. There is meaning. I raised my arms up to the sky and said "SWEET LORD JESUS!!! I NOW KNOW MY PURPOSE!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!" I waited for the spirit to enter me, but alas it did not. By this time I had already purchased the calendar, so here it is now on my office wall.

2) I like sports. I like being a fan of sports. I like hockey. I like wondering why the Boston Bruins traded their starting goaltender for only a fourth-round pick. Are we out of the playoffs already? Are we just giving up? WTF?

3) I am a dedicated watcher of House Hunters on HGTV. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for the development meetings of this show. (okay...not nearly as much as I would have liked to be there for the Fox Special Man vs. Beast. Like shit...what if we had like fuckin' bears wrestle people and shit!?!?! And like people would fuckin' race cheetahs and shit...oh yeah...) House Hunters is a show about people looking for a house in California. Always California.

The show is hosted by Suzanne Whang. Well, not really hosted. You only see her once or twice and she only says something like "Will John get the house? You'll have to wait and see!" But the thing is...John always gets the house. It's all good at House Hunters. It's the land where nobody gets rejected. Everybody wins at House Hunters. Anyway, Whang apparently is a "Ivy League alumna with degrees in psychology" Well...shit...I suddenly feel qualified for just about any job out there. I mean, really...this job seems pretty sweet.

The last episode I saw involved this single guy, David Abrams, with a geri-curl perm and some serious extracurricular facial hair. There's a small glimpse of his greatness on this page here. He's the dude in the yellow shirt.

This guy was a real hardass. He didn't want to move out of the city yet hated the cookie-cutter shit condos he saw in the city. I mean...what are you gonna do with him, eh??? [ahem] He was lucky he enlisted the services of Don Little, an older gentleman of a real estate agent who seemed to hate the absolute essence of who Abrams was. Little kept saying "Yo homes...you're gonna half to look outside the hood, bro...shit...I know your steez but your two-way be blowin' up big willie style with this mug out here in the 'burbs." But Abrams kept playin' him off. He said "Fuck You Don Little...I need a place with some character. You know...a place that has the right vibe." But Little sold him on the 'burbs because the pad was phat. It was the phattest pad in the 'burbs...so Abrams got down on it and started humping the bright open layout of the kitchen (even though he doesn't really cook...he needed a big kitchen, you see.)

Of course, Abrams got the house. They always do. He was a bit cockier than the rest of the usuals. Most times the potential homeowners are big worriers. Will they get the house? Will they be humiliated in front of The Huffer and the six other people watching this show?? Here's the phone call!!!!!!


Okay...I should really stop betting against the people. I just want one person to not get the house. Is that so wrong? Well anyway, Abrams was already packin' shit up getting ready to move. This motherfucker was like the Allen Iverson of house hunting. Fuck you...he'll nail that mortgage and tell you your mom's a ho in one swoop.

4) I walk a few blocks to save 10-20 cents on a Lipton Ice Tea. That's right...a little more exercise...a little more jingle in the jangle, if you know what I mean.

5) I know that there is not a greater one minute and fifty seconds at this point in time on the planet than the last one minute and fifty seconds of "The First Part" by Superchunk.

Poison Idea

Found via Catfish Catfish, a Maryland teenager was charged Thursday with first-degree murder for allegedly killing a romantic rival by spiking his soda with cyanide. Ryan Furlough, 18, laced his friend's drink with the poison as they played video games in Furlough's basement in Ellicot City in suburban Baltimore.

Read about this nerdy murderer here.

Yikes...Maybe The Crime Bubble Has Burst

What a tough weekend for young people to live in the city. There were three (two of which seemingly random) knifings on the subways and one random shooting.

At 5:30am on Saturday morning, a 21 year old woman was slashed up and down at the J stop at Chambers Street by a guy who asked her if she was an escort.

At 9:30pm on Saturday night, a 26 year old man was slashed with a boxcutter on the 7 train in Queens by a guy who said absolutely nothing to him.

At 1:00am on Sunday morning, four guys were wounded in a drive-by in East Williamsburg.

At 4:00am on Sunday morning, a 25 year old man was shot in the chest and killed by a guy when he was trying to open the door to his apartment building located on Orchard between Broome and Grand. Or in other words, five blocks west and three blocks south of where I live. That's really fucked up. I don't frequent that area too much, but I definitely know what it looks like.

**UPDATE**--Was the killer a neighbor?

At 4:15am on Sunday morning a 19 year old guy got slashed as he waited downtown for the 4 and 5 trains at Bowling Green.