January 03, 2003

Time To Leverage The Man-Animal

This is funny...it looks like Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio is on its way to challenging Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever as the worst reviewed movie on Rotten Tomatoes. I have to agree with the reviewer who said:
no matter how much [Benigni] runs around and acts like a doofus, accepting a 50-year-old in the role [of Pinocchio] is creepy in a Michael Jackson sort of way.

When I saw this trailer before Far From Heaven I was wiiiiiiiiiigggggggggeeeeeedddddddd out.

Dork.

I spent a bit of time today trying to figure out how to connect all of my audio needs into my very unimpressive yet very serviceable Aiwa stereo system.

I bought this system during my first year of law school when I didn't have any money. I bought it at that oh-so-Midwestern of stores, American. The store was running a promotion intended to sign up a whole bunch of people for American credit cards. If you agreed to get one of the credit cards, you could buy some quasi-big ticket item in the store and pay no finance charges on it for a year. Shit....[in Eastern European accent] WHAT A DEAL?!? HEY?!?

Okay...for some people this is how they do it and how it's always done. Fine. Understood. For me, however, this was an incredible offer of free money. I think I didn't pay anything on the system for an entire year because of no required monthly minimum payments. It was just CASH MONEY to a humble boy like me.

The system I actually really wanted was a bit too spartan for the American folks. Not enough bells and whistles and more importantly, not expensive enough. So I had to upgrade to the Aiwa system (which was basically a home entertainment system) in order to get the credit card deal. I couldn't afford the system unless I spent more money on it. Hmmm.

Years later I have filled all of the Aiwa system's aching holes. Right now, I have too many dicks and not enough poontang. It's a freakin' gangbang of audio equipment. I have a turntable, a DVD player and an iPod that all want a piece of the action. It's a real pain in the ass connecting and disconnecting everything all the time. I have to pull the whole system out and yank out stubborn wires.

Some of the problem may be solved with the use of these Monster Cables. Although these little babies seem like they could do the job as well. Not all will be solved however. One of the dudes will still be left hanging out on the side...checking out the action. I think at this point that might have to be the iPod. Dude's gonna have to get into voyeurism.

January 02, 2003

The Struggle.

I think I'm a pretty smart kid. I used to think I could outsmart anybody in the room (actually, I still do). The problem occurs when you try to outsmart yourself. It's the equivalent of a dog chasing it's tail. Not gonna happen.

I found this Fast Company article through Blogdex. It's quite interesting. It's optimistic. It's thought-provoking. It's scary. It's sad. It's me.

December 31, 2002

Pretty Picture

This is nice. It's The Smoking Gun's favorite non-celebrity mugshots of 2002. I mean...dude...

December 30, 2002

Voice Frustration

I've always wondered what generation I'm supposed to be in. Am I a young Generation Xer? Or an old Generation Yer? Whatever I am, I'm not sure that my generation has found a voice. I would probably say that I came of age in the early 1990s. When the year 1990 hit, I was age 14. I was finishing up my last few months as an eighth grader. Everything was changing.

In 1990, I bought Jane's Addiction Ritual De Lo Habitual on tape. It's all a bit fuzzy now. I can't remember what came first. Did I buy this or that album? It almost can be answered by when I bought my first CD player in 1991. Everything after that I bought on CD. Ritual De Lo Habitual was on tape...so it must have been before Slanted & Enchanted or Ten or Nevermind. I obviously bought it because I loved the song "Been Caught Stealing". bark bark.

It's now almost 13 years later. Exactly half my current age. A lot has happened in that time.

It's kind of interesting to attempt to divide your life into sections. Where do you do it? By education? By geographic location? By girlfriend/boyfriend? By social/cultural changes?

I think for me it's divided up like this:
June 15, 1976-October 24, 1986
October 25, 1986-August 1990
September 1990-Aug 1994
September 1994-May 1998
June 1998-August 1998
September 1998-May 1999
June 1999-November 1999
December 1999-May 2000
June 2000-August 2000
September 2000-May 2001
June 2001-September 3, 2001
September 4, 2001-September 10, 2001
September 11, 2001-September 11, 2002
September 12, 2002-present.

So according to this...I'm on Huffer v.15. Interesting. I guess some of the exact dates are probably fudged and my memory has forgotten some days or years, even. Some of those versions brought bigger and more noticeable changes from the previous version.

I guess at this point I feel as though society has dropped off my generation. We grew up in the beginning of political correctness and saw its virtues. Now we see its detriments. The internet was going to change how we work, how we live, how we thought. Now it seems to be an information superhighway for spam and porn. I mean, whatever happened to telecommuting? I demand a Congressional investigation into that mystery. Technology has only seemed to allow us to spend more time working rather than less.

Everything was just so damn positive before September 11, 2001. Sure the economy looked a little bad...but it was almost difficult to believe that there was such a thing as a bad economy after the dot.com boom. I should be wearing a t-shirt and jeans right now and be a millionaire. Goodbye to all that I guess. I knew that Election Day 2000 was going to change things. I just didn't know how much. At times I feel as though the last 13 years has been wasted. Probably more specifically 1991-1997 or so. I don't know if as I get older I see more warts on our good old U.S. of A. Has everything always been this way and I just haven't noticed? I thought that September 11th would have changed things more than it has. I would have thought Enron, Worldcom, etc. would have changed things more than it has. What I want to know is what will it take to wake up America out of its slumber? It's a definitely arguable point that we're not asleep, that we've been awake this entire time. I'd probably agree with that if I didn't think that people just don't seem to have the time or interest to make informed decisions anymore. People are so apathetic or tired that they'll go along with whatever's going on.

How else could you ever explain how President Clinton was the most admired man in America every single year of his presidency and now George W. Bush is? It seems we're so damn lazy that people will automatically admire whoever is President. You'd never notice since supposedly there were so many people that hated President Clinton and President Bush.

I just don't find anything encouraging here. At all. I guess I still just go with the last line of the movie Seven where Morgan Freeman's character notes:

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

December 29, 2002

I've Got An Animal

No Pets AllowedAhhh...Florida Flea Markets. I don't see anything about ferrets. Hmmm...I suppose that could be included in "other pets."

I can tell you that the "No Parking" sign underneath the "No Pets" sign was not followed by every patron of this flea market. Halfway through my stay at this market I heard the the following announcement as I was buying a "My Other Car Is A Broom" bumper sticker...

We have an illegally parked car. It's a Toyota Camry Florida plates beginning with the letter I...then T...as in IT DON'T BELONG THERE...

Oh...that's nutty.